


Always Together, You and I

by Kairat11



Category: Nagron - Fandom, Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Agron and Nasir are old, Agron and Nasir forever together, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But they are so in love, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, I promise, M/M, Nagron, Nagron AU, POV Nasir, Protective nasir, Romance, Spartacus AU, don't get discouraged by the major character death, it has a happy ending, married nagron, mentions of Alzheimer's disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairat11/pseuds/Kairat11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A disease can test any love, but for a love like Agron and Nasir's it is just another stone in their path. They will forever be walking side by side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Together, You and I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,
> 
> This is my first Nagron fanfic and I know I am super late but I couldn't help myself.  
> I love these beautiful assholes so much and their relationship makes me so happy. I am planning to write more stories about these cherished babies.  
> Constructive criticism, kudos, comments and everything else is welcome and appreciated. 
> 
> Some vocabulary:  
> Liebling~ Darling  
> Schatz~ Treasure  
> Süsser~ Sweetie  
> Ruhi~ Soul  
> Hayaati~ My life  
> Habibi~ My love  
> Bruder~ Brother
> 
> Happy reading!

 

The scorching rays of the sun were beating on his weary back. Summer this year was the most sweltering in years. His garden was begging for a reprieve which is why he was sweating rivers watering it. The copper watering can in his hands had been a Father’s Day gift from Agron a couple of years ago. _Agron,_ his heart clenched and hurt in his wrinkled chest. He missed his beloved like a fish misses the water.

Nasir moved his obsidian crinkled eyes from his colorful array of roses, hydrangeas, tulips and sunflowers to the center of the garden. There was his dearly loved and his most favorite view; Agron was sitting under the large red maple tree they had planted when they first moved to this house almost 50 years ago. A fond smile stretches his thin pink lips remembering their moving day; their friends had helped them with the move and after, Agron and Nasir had ordered pizza and bought some beer as a sign of gratitude. It had been a precious day full of lovely memories.

The watering can was heavy in his weakened hands, but Nasir didn’t care. His whole body turned to better appreciate the beautiful picture Agron made sitting on the iron bench under the tall, leaf stalked and rounded shaped tree. Agron was still as imposing as when he was younger. His body had shrank a bit but it wasn’t as noticeable as Nasir’s, to his annoyance. Agron still retained the strength and muscles in that sensual body Nasir used to worship from head to toe. His once light brown hair had only been touched lightly by gray; his gorgeous face had wrinkled around the still bright stunning fern green eyes and the alluring mouth Nasir yearns to kiss.

Nasir wanted to run to his love and embrace him in his aching arms. He wanted to feel that furnace like body against his own. Nasir wanted to trace that tanned skin with his fingers and rain showers of tender kisses on that precious face. He wanted, he needed and he couldn’t get it because Agron didn’t remember him today. Nasir’s forlorn heart yearns for the closeness and his soul is crying in agony for Agron’s own. More than 5o years together, a lifetime of sharing a bond so strong and firm all so it would come to this.

Nasir wanted Alzheimer to be a tangible thing because he wanted to slay it; make it bleed and suffer like it has made Agron and him suffer. Friends and family were no longer present in Agron’s memory, at least most of the time. Agron had forgotten Nasir more times than he cared to remember and every time he felt like he was being stabbed by a sharpened sword in the guts. _Agron_ , his most beloved and the light of his eyes didn’t deserve this punishment; _nobody deserves it_. It was as if the gods have turned away from them and left them to rot. But _fuck the gods_ , as Agron used to say when he was furious, because Agron and he will endure this trial. They are stronger when they are together fighting through everything life throws at them.

It had been difficult when the symptoms started to show about five years ago. Agron was 76 and Nasir 73, they had been enjoying retirement for some years. They had traveled around the world without a care. Both had worked so hard all their lives and decided to enjoy their golden age. Agron is a writer, an amazing and creative writer. Nasir couldn’t bring himself to say was, because Agron’s ravishing mind still flourishes in the few lucid moments he gets. This is the reason why Nasir always put a notebook and a pen close to Agron wherever he is sitting.

Sweat was trickling down his back and his gray long hair was sticking to his neck, some stray hairs clinging to his forehead. Nasir wiped the sweat with the back of his tired left hand, his left still holding onto the half-filled watering can. The cheerful chirping of the birds and a soft breeze made his dark eyes close shut for a few seconds; he needed the strength, the strength to keep going without falling and being consumed by desperation and heartbreak. Nasir took a deep breath and let it out slowly, every muscle in his body screaming with exhaustion. He wasn’t complaining; he just wanted his husband to look at his lovingly, to recognize him and to touch his cheek gently again.

Nasir wanted to approach Agron whenever he wanted without concern for his nerves and not have to keep himself and his emotions in check. He wanted to hug his most cherished person; the one dearest to his heart and feel strong gentle arms wrap around him. Nasir wanted to sleep on the same bed and share the same space. He wanted to listen to the joyous song of Agron’s beating heart and feel his breath tickle his ear. Nasir wanted to love him thoroughly and bury his face on that slender neck, smell his rich manly scent and run his fingers through the soft silk strands.

A sigh escaped his mouth, he needed to rest. His body wasn’t young and energetic as before, he felt every ache like needles prickling his skin. Nasir turned to finish watering his darling flowers. Agron had helped him plant them and even though he complained while doing it, Nasir saw the broad smiles that painted Agron’s lips every time he walked by them.

It was strange in a way but everything Nasir liked Agron ended up liking too. He would fight it at first, but not for long. Nasir had told him a few times that he didn’t have to accept something if he didn’t like it, that they could just compromise. Agron had smiled that breathtakingly stunning dimpled smile of his and looked at him with such affection that even to this day Nasir remembers how his heart trembled with joy. “ _I love you Nasir; liking what you like, loving what you love, going where you go, doing what you do and believing in what you believe is not forcing myself, it is natural,”_ Agron had said those words with such devotedness and sincerity that Nasir had tackled him to the floor and had made love to Agron with fevered passion.

When Nasir opened his eyes again casting them upon his beloved, his body shivered with delight. A warm blanket of felicity wrapped his melancholic heart at the smile Agron had on his face while looking at some birds taking a bath at the nearby bird bath. Nasir’s own lips curled into a small smile because Agron’s face was so soft and looking so much like his own self before the Alzheimer’s robbed them of their bliss. The disease had progressed slowly the first years but in the last year it has become more aggressive, it has worsened.

Agron and Nasir had been shocked when Agron had been diagnosed with the disease. Agron had been so angry and frustration grew as he started to forget things and people. Treatment had been helpful but nothing was working anymore. The disease had affected not only his mental state but his physical health as well; it has been deteriorating gradually and Nasir was terrified. At now 78 years old, Nasir at times felt so weak but his weariness was washed away when he looked at Agron. His man was so brave; even in his state of confusion, Agron gave Nasir strength and the words he needed to keep walking this path life has bestow upon them. Agron’s disease is a horrible curse but Agron was his treasured gift; life or the gods may be shitting on them but Agron was by his side and that was all that mattered.

Nasir put down the empty copper watering can, leaving it next to the flower beds. He stretched his exhausted arms and kneaded his tensed shoulders before giving one longer look at his love; then walking into the house to wash his sweaty hands and get some lemonade. The house was spacious and hadn’t changed much in the last decade; Agron was the one who enjoyed doing repairs around the house. It was a lovely farm style house; they had argued about the color they should paint it for days; until they had compromised on a dark red color and white shutters to give it the look of a real farm.

As Nasir walked to the kitchen, he looked around the rooms; every room held a cherished memory in Nasir’s heart. He remembers Sunday dinners with their children and then grandchildren. The mere thought of his family was a balm for his sorrowful heart. They had adopted a pair of twins; a boy and a girl when they were in their late thirties. Nasir could still remember Agron’s blinding smile and radiant green eyes brimming with tears. The day they brought the twins home had been one of the happiest days of their lives.

Now their children had families of their own; living on different states it was difficult to see them as much as he wanted, but they visit as often as they can and call every day. Their children are so loving and caring; _we have done a good job Agron,_ he thought with pride. Agron and he had been so nervous and insecure when they adopted them at first; but like always working together had paid off. After all they were and are stronger together.

Amari and Fatima, their children, had asked Nasir many times if he wanted to hire a nurse to help him with Agron’s care. He had vehemently refused every time. Nasir knew they were just thinking of both of their well-being, but he was more than capable and willing to take care of his beloved husband. Caring for Agron wasn’t a job or a burden, it was Nasir’s pleasure. He wasn’t going to let a stranger touch, feed and clean his man; also Agron got suspicious and anxious around strangers. Nasir has always been protective of the people he holds dear, especially Agron.

Duro was the only help Nasir accepted; he lives only twenty minutes from their home. He married Diona, a kind and pretty woman. They had three children and many grandchildren. Duro was devastated when he learned of Agron’s disease but he didn’t show it; not until he got home. Diona had told Nasir later that Duro was having nightmares and had lost his appetite. This awful disease has stolen so much joy out of everyone who loves Agron. Nasir hates the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness throttling his heart. _Why him and not me,_ Nasir often thought, but then he would picture Agron’s face marred with misery and stop his selfish thoughts.

He could still hear the loud voices and laughter of their friends on Friday or Saturday nights. A warm affection imbues his heart when he thinks of their friends; no, not friends but family. They have been there by Agron and Nasir’s side always, such unconditional support and love was a rare find. Saxa and Mira had married and had a daughter; they were healthy and happy. Gannicus and Sybil had married after years of postponing it and had children of their own. Lugo and Donar had also married, each a German woman and had six children between them.

Spartacus, remembering how he had suffered and died always left a bitter taste in Nasir’s mouth. The stomach cancer had been extremely aggressive, not giving time for chemotherapy. Agron especially had been inconsolable after his passing. Spartacus had been like an older brother to Agron.

Merciless thorn like vines wrapped around his heart whenever he remembers Naevia and Crixus. Their deaths have been so tragic and unexpected, it had been heart wrenching. A drunk driver had crashed into their car four years ago and robbed them of their lives. They were still so full of life and loving each other the same as they did in their youth. He loved Naevia like a sister and Crixus had always been kind to him. And even though Agron and Crixus didn’t get along most of the time, Agron mourned him like a brother.

Agron and he have lost so many loved ones throughout the years, but the love felt for them was ever present and strong. Nasir was so grateful to still have so many dear ones alive and present in their lives. Their visits and phone calls are frequent, always so caring, loving and kind. Nasir’s heart felt lighter at knowing how loved Agron and he were because not everyone could boast of such blessings.

Nasir remembers their first years as a married couple before the children; how they used to make love in every available surface. Nasir could hear clearly Agron’s and his own moans, the strong smell of sex and sweat; the gasps and groans coming from heated bodies and the cries of satisfaction that escaped their mouths from their bliss out bodies as they reached ecstasy. He licked his pink thin lips and closed his eyes; even his wilted cock could find the strength to twitch in excitement remembering their passionate love making. Nasir missed those days; he longs for the closeness.

The kitchen has a wide window that looks to the garden and he could see Agron’s striking profile as he washed his hands. How he wished he could cup those cheeks and caress them. How he desired to kiss that pretty mouth with unmitigated fervor. Nasir wanted to entwined Agron’s and his hands together and put his head on a solid shoulder. He wanted to feel the softness of Agron’s hands in his’ and bring those precious hands to his lips to pay homage, slowly. But he had to wait until his Agron came back to him; the Agron in the garden now was a delicate creature so alien to him.

Nasir quickly opened the refrigerator and reached for the lemonade pitcher. He had made it fresh early that morning, it was Agron’s favorite. He took a couple of glasses and the pitcher; then took a wooden tray and settled everything there. His clothes were a bit wet from sweating, it felt a bit uncomfortable but he didn’t want to waste time changing. Quickly, he walked out the back door to the garden; an unusual refreshing breeze greeting him. His hair was enveloped by the wild breeze, dancing around his face like soft threads floating in the air. The leaves of the trees playing a cheerful melody moved his feet closer to his handsome husband. As he got closer to his purpose, his steps slowed down because sudden movements made Agron antsy.

His eyes rested on Agron’s form; straight back and shoulders, clothed with a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt, barefooted like he had always preferred when at home. Hands playing absently with a maple leaf and pretty green eyes focused on some imaginary world. Nasir’s heart ached with so much bottled up love and hopeless sadness. He wanted his voice to break through the mist clouding Agron’s mind and reach his husband. _Please let me see him today; let me give him all the love and all the touches I have been saving for days. Let me hear his voice, let him see me,_ Nasir prayed to gods he had stopped believing in. He would do anything to have his love again.

Nasir cleared his throat softly to alert Agron of his presence. He noticed Agron’ body tense and felt guilty, but as soon as those light green pools landed on him Agron’ body relaxed. Nasir’s heart almost jumped out of his chest in a double back flip. Agron had always had that power over him; those gorgeous eyes could make him do the impossible.

“Hello?” Agron said in a soft insecure voice. Nasir could see the familiar questions in his quizzical expression. A feeling of disappointment settled in his heart, _today is not the day I get to see you my beloved,_ a fleeting thought announced.

“Hi Agron, how are you feeling?” Nasir asked, feet rooted on the ground and tray held close to his chest.

Agron tilted his head to the side and looked at Nasir with curiosity. “I…I am fine, how do you know my name?” he questioned with suspicion.

Nasir sighed quietly, the desire to caress that handsome face almost unbearable.

“I take care of you every day. My name is Nasir,” he responded trying to keep his voice steady.

“Nasir? Oh! I…I think I remember you, but you look… older. You had black hair before,” Agron commented while his hands still played with the leaf; his body turned to Nasir.

Nasir smiled wistfully, _well at least he remembers me, even if it is the younger me._

“Time is not a friend of black hair,” he replied with a tight lipped smile on his lips.

Agron lowered his eyes to the ground and sighed; he seemed in low spirits today.

“I brought lemonade, it is so hot today and it is also your favorite,” he said holding the tray up.

Agron looked at him again, a grateful look on his face. Nasir could see the sheen of sweat on his forehead; he needed to convince Agron to go inside. He didn’t want Agron to have a heat stroke.

“That’s good because I am very thirsty, thank you Nasir,” Agron answered gratefully.

Nasir tried not to get too happy about how sweet his name sounded on Agron’s rose-colored lips. Agron have always pronounced it with a “z” instead of an “s”. Nasir loved it since the first time his name passed Agron’s lips. He said it with such care and adoration; even if this Agron didn’t remember him, his name was said in the same adoring tone. This gave him renew hope and vigor.

“Can I sit next to you?” Nasir questioned, making sure Agron was comfortable with his presence.

Agron nodded, “Yes, of course. Do you need help?” he asked, moving aside to make space for Nasir to sit.

Nasir felt relieved because sometimes Agron didn’t allow him near. Those were the days he was feeling more on edge and his mind was overtaken by his disease.

Nasir walked towards Agron and sat next to him. He served the lemonade and gave a glass to Agron. Nasir observed him for a moment, drinking every feature of that alluring face. Then he started drinking his own, both side by side in content silent. Nasir felt the heat coming off Agron’s body, always scorching like the sun. He had missed that heat on colder nights; he misses everything of Agron’.

“Do you want more?’ He asked when he noticed Agron drank the last sip.

“No, I am okay. Thank you Nasir, it was tasty,” Agron’s settled his dazzling eyes on his dark ones while setting the glass on the tray Nasir was still holding.

Nasir could feel a small smile tug at his lips, _Agron you are adorable,_ he thought just as he did innumerable times before.

“I am glad you enjoyed it. Do you want to go inside now? It is very hot to be out here,” Nasir mused, concern lacing his words.

“Can’t we stay a bit longer?” Agron insisted, giving Nasir a very unfair and irresistible puppy-eyed look. _Ugh, don’t do this to me_ , Nasir groaned internally.

“Okay, but only a few minutes,” he responded, drinking the last sip of his lemonade.

“Nasir, _Nasir_? Where have I heard that name before? Nasir…,” Agron kept repeating his name and Nasir felt like he was flying higher and higher.

“Nasir!” he exclaimed as if he had just remembered something important.

Nasir’s heart cease to beat for a few seconds and his throat felt dry as a desert. He couldn’t move, his eyes couldn’t turn to look at Agron’ and he was sure he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

“Nasir, Nasir!” Agron called, insistent while a warm big hand settled on his shoulder. Nasir let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He almost flung the tray away, glasses be damned.

Slowly he turned his head and when his eyes locked with Agron’ he launched at him; tray forgotten, glasses and pitcher clicking on the ground.

“Agron, _Agron_ , Agron my love, my heart, my most beloved how I have missed you,” Nasir cried out, voice heavy with emotion as he wrapped his arms around Agron’s neck.

Agron was shocked and confused, Nasir could see it on his face. But there were no explanations, only warm hugs and desperate kisses. They were old, sick and weary but that didn’t diminish their love for each other. Agron and Nasir have always been the couple who couldn’t get enough of each other.

After a few passionate and biting kisses, they separated a bit so they could breathe and get back their bearings. They were still close enough to breathe the same air and feel their breaths intermingle. Nasir didn’t know how he lived without Agron not recognizing him for days and sometimes weeks. He didn’t know and now he didn’t care because his light, the love of his life was here in his arms.

“Are you okay Nasir? You are acting weird, why are you crying?” Agron asked, concern painted in his aged face while cupping his face and bringing his thumbs to clean the tears from his cheeks.

Nasir shook his head, “It is nothing. I am just too old and sentimental. Don’t worry my heart.”

Agron looked at him carefully, searching his face for any lies. _Gods, how I have missed this look in your eyes,_ Nasir thought while caressing his sweetheart’s face with tremulous finger and raining kisses on that beloved face.

A hearty laugh ripped from Agron’s chest and to Nasir that was like a choir of angels singing. He felt his heart flutter and his body relaxed like it hadn’t in a few weeks. Nasir found himself laughing as well, once again kissing his husband with ardor.

“What has gotten into you? Are you seducing me? I am not as young and attractive as I was before you know,” Agron teased jokingly while running the fingers of one hand through Nasir’s gray locks.

Nasir chuckled, “I just love you so much Aggy. You have made me such a happy man, the happiest man alive. I am so lucky to have met and married you, the love of my life. We have lived a beautiful life together and raised wonderful children. We have amazing grandchildren and such great friends. You, Agron are my happiness, you are love and I…I just wanted to let you know that my love for you is ever growing,” he breathed, his voice thick with unabashed emotion and tears streaming down his cheeks. His gaze still locked with Agron’s who looked so worried; it made Nasir want hug him tighter, kiss him soundly and so he did.

“Nasir…are…are you…sure…you are…okay?” Agron asked again in between fervent kisses.

Nasir just nodded his head, licking his wet lips. Agron smiled that gorgeous dimpled smile that made Nasir weak from the inside out. The one that Agron used in the past to seduce Nasir to fuck him breathless. Nasir wished he had the physical strength to do it now because his heart was a raging inferno of passion.

“I love you too, you know? You are a gift from one of those fucking deities. The reason I am happy is because of you. You made me believe in love and in a forever together. My heart and my soul are yours Nasir, in this life and in any others. I will always find you,” Agron murmured, like if it was a well-kept secret only for Nasir’s ears. Nasir smiled the broadest smile he had ever smiled; this was his most beloved speaking.

“Now, let’s go inside, it is so hot out here,” Agron said, getting up and pulling Nasir with him. Agron grabbed his notebook and pencil, while Nasir picked up the glasses, the pitcher and tray. Nasir lamented the wasted lemonade, but not for long. They walked inside, side by side and hands entwined as if vines.

The happy moments didn’t last, like usual. Nasir was used to it, to the brevity of Agron’s lucidity. He had helped Agron brush his teeth and then Agron had asked him to wait outside while he relieved himself. When he came out, his Agron was gone and Nasir wanted to cry. _At least we ate dinner together, don’t whine_ , he chastised himself. Nasir had helped Agron into bed and then had gone to the kitchen to put the dishes in the dishwasher and turn off the lights.

The phone rang and Nasir smiled softly knowing who it was.

“Hello Duro, how are you?

“Hey old man, I am okay. How are you and my bruder?” A booming voice spoke.

“I am…well, I guess. Agron remembered me today, we had dinner together and we laughed, then… He had been having trouble sleeping the past two days. I will take him to the doctor tomorrow,” Nasir spoke in a soft voice; he was so worried for Agron. He didn’t like how difficult it was for Agron to breathe at night.

“Wow, I am happy you guys had a good time, at least for a bit. But not breathing well is not good. Do you want me to go to the appointment tomorrow? I am sorry I couldn’t go today, my leg was acting up,” Duro responded, his worry seeping through the phone line.

“Don’t worry, I can handle it by myself for a day and yes, please come with us to the hospital,” Nasir pleaded walking back to the bedroom he shared with Agron. As he was entering he heard Agron cough and wheeze, chest heaving with effort.

Quick feet took him to the bed and he noticed Agron’s wretched state, sweat drenching his hair and clothes. Agron’s body was burning with a high fever and his body trembling like a leaf shaken by a strong wind. Nasir tried to wake him up, gently caressing his face but Agron didn’t react.

“Nasir? _Nasir_ , what’s going on?” Duro urged in an alarmed voice.

“Agron, _Agron_ , he…oh gods Duro…I need to call an ambulance, go to the hospital,” Nasir hanged the call and immediately dialed 911. He didn’t left Agron’s side but only to open the door and let the paramedics in. Nasir went in the ambulance with Agron and as soon as they got to the hospital a group of doctors took over.

He was pacing in the hallway, waiting for news. Nasir was dying; the world was beginning to look colorless.

“Nasir!” hearing Duro’s voice was like putting salve on a burn. He turned and was quickly wrapped in a warm embrace. A sob escaped his mouth, hands holding onto Duro’s green shirt desperately. Tears clouded his eyes, making him see Diona in a blurry light. She got closer and patted his head, giving him a tender kiss on his temple. Nasir let go of Duro and looked at the dearly loved pair in front of him; their expressions marred with concern and worry.

“What have the doctors said? Have you been allowed in to see him? What…,” Duro’s interrogation was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

The threesome turned to look at the intruder but it was a well-known face.

“Nasir…,” the doctor began to say in a gentle voice, grave expression on his young face.

Nasir’s feet carried him to the doctor, Duro and Diona quick on his steps.

“Doctor Ahmed! How is Agron? Can I see him? Please let me see him!” Nasir pleaded a supplicant expression on his aged face.

Doctor Ahmed sighed, eyes downcast. He had been Agron’s doctor since he was diagnosed. Dr. Ahmed has been so helpful ever since, always suggesting trying the newest treatments and keeping a close eye on Agron. It was a bit strange that they have formed this close relationship with the doctor because usually the relationship was more professional, sometimes even colder. But Dr. Ahmed felt like another son and he sincerely cares for their well-being.

Nasir held his breath, he knew that expression and whatever was to come out of that mouth was bad news. He tried to keep breathing, fighting hard against a panic attack. Nasir hadn’t had those in years but he could see one coming from miles.

“What is it? Just say it,” he breathed, impatiently running his fingers through his ash colored long hair.

Dr. Ahmed looked up, chocolate brown eyes tinged with sadness.

“Nasir,” He repeated again, casting a gloomy look at him and then glancing at Duro and Diona, “Agron, he is very sick; his condition has worsened faster than we had expected. His heart is very weak and his lungs aren’t working properly. He is barely breathing on his own…you should call Fatima and Amari, get the whole family to come here and say their goodbyes…,” Dr. Ahmed couldn’t finish his sentence because Nasir was sucked into darkness at the earth shattering news.

When Nasir regained consciousness, he found himself in a hospital bed. He was out of sorts, looking around the room confused. Then he remembered the news and he felt faint again, but fought against it. _Agron, my love…I need to see you, my beloved. This is not real, it is not happening; this must be a nightmare, a horrible vivid dream_ , he thought to himself as he got up from the bed. Nasir felt dizzy and then a soft but firm hand held him still. His head snapped up and Diona was there in front of him, her sweet kind face trying to comfort him. And it hit him, this was real and he was in hell.

“For…,” a cough cut off his words and after a few seconds of Diona patting his back, he spoke again. “For how long was I out? Is Agron…,” Nasir gulped. He didn’t want to say the words, it made everything more real.

“Shh,” Diona whispered, a small hand gently cupping his cheek. “You were out for half an hour, you are exhausted Nasir. You should rest a bit longer. Agron is stable,” the words for now were left unsaid but floated on the air like poison. “Duro called the kids, they will be out in the earliest flight,” she added with an understanding expression on her face. Nasir nodded his head which was a very bad idea because he saw white spots and felt wobbly.

“Thank you for taking care of that and for your concern for me, but I need to see my husband. This can be my last night with him and…,” a loud sob teared from deep in his chest, bringing one trembling hand to cover his mouth and the other clawing at his heart wanting to wrench it out. Diona sat him on the edge of the cold bed and hugged him. Nasir felt colder than January snow and the only person capable of giving him warmth was lying on a bed, dying.

Nasir was made of shallow breaths and tears. He needed to be with his beloved to hold his hands and to kiss him incessantly until he couldn’t anymore. He took a deep breath and wiped his tears away; it was time for him to be brave. Nasir got up on weak legs but that didn’t stop him. His light needed him and Nasir is going to be there for him; he aches and yearns to see those brilliant green stars one more time.

Diona took him to Agron’s room and when he got to the door he almost chocked in pain. Agron was hooked to multiple machines, his face barely visible. Nasir loathed seeing him like that; he wanted to kill the deity that decided to punish Agron with this fucking disease. To see your loved one’s mind deteriorate up to the point of not remembering you at all and to witness the decline in their physical health, was worse than any torture.

Then there was Duro, he was holding his big brother’s hand to his face and murmuring in German. Nasir had learned the language somewhat and he could clearly tell it was a prayer. The Herrmann brothers were not ones for prayers but desperation made a man do unthinkable things for the person they hold dear to heart.

Slow steps took him into the room; his footsteps must have alerted Duro of their presence. He turned his head to them; his dark eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Duro didn’t utter a single word. He kissed his brother on the forehead and stepped aside for Nasir to sit on the chair. Nasir heard Duro and Diona sit on a couple of chairs close to him. Nasir’s eyes were focused on the treasure resting on the bed and lifted one of his hands to caress any available surface of Agron’s face, neck and arms. He wanted to crawl inside Agron and physically be part of him.

The room felt cold even though he knew it wasn’t; it felt constricting and drab even though it was spacious and bright. Things just started to lose their shine when Agron wasn’t there to brighten his world. Nasir softly touched his man’s hands and massaged them; then kissed them thoroughly as if in reverence. His attentions had the desired effect because those pretty green eyes fluttered open, looking straight at him. Nasir was ready to step back and let go of Agron’s hands; he didn’t want to freak him out in case he didn’t remember Nasir. But his actions were halted by Agron speaking his name; this was his heart speaking to him and Nasir’s soul almost burst out of his body.

“Nasir… _Nasir_ , where…what happened?” Agron asked confused , his voice muffled by the oxygen mask. He reached for it to take it off but Nasir stopped him by gently grabbing his hand and holding it tight. Duro and Diona were there in a flash, relieved faces looking expectantly at Agron.

Agron glanced at them and smiled faintly, and then his attention returned to Nasir. “Nasir?” he insisted.

“You…, you almost had a heart attack on the way here and at the house… you were convulsing and sweating a lot, you were running a very high fever,” Nasir murmured not wanting to speak about it and avoiding Agron’s eyes.

“Nasir, my…it had gotten worse,” Agron stated looking around at all the machines. Nasir nodded, unable to speak.

“I am sorry liebling for putting you through all this…fuck, I promised to make you happy,” Agron whispered weakly.

Duro and Diona had returned to their seat, giving them a modicum of privacy. Anyway, Nasir didn’t care; he has always been affectionate with Agron regardless of the place or the people around.

Nasir’s throat felt tight and tears prickled his eyes. Agron hadn’t called him that or any other endearment in his native tongue in a long time. And then there was Agron blaming himself for something he didn’t have control over.

Nasir got closer and leaned down kissing Agron’s hair and forehead. “You have fulfilled your promise a million times over hayaati. You are my forever love, my dream come true. You are my beloved,” Nasir whispered leaning back to look into those adored eyes. Eyes that he noticed were filled with unshed tears.

Nasir wished he could kiss Agron’s lips and transfer all his feelings in one breath. “Habibi, you have given me so much throughout our lives together. Your unconditional love, devotion without measure and… a family,” Nasir croaked as he brought Agron’s hands to his lips. He was trying to hold the tears that were threatening to fall; he needed to give Agron strength and peace.

Agron took one of his hands away and Nasir was so consumed by grief that he didn’t notice when Agron took the mask off. A machine started beeping and Nasir’s head snapped up, bug eyed and terrified. Duro and Diona were at their side in a second.

“Bruder, put the mask back,” Duro almost yelled, reaching for it but Agron denied him shaking his head.

Nasir chest was heaving rapidly and he couldn’t speak; the only thing he could do was hold onto Agron’s hand for dear life. He didn’t like this; he knew what was coming next.

“Schatz,” Agron whispered, shallow breaths tickling Nasir’s cheeks. “I love you and our family,” he continued, looking from him to Duro and Diona. “Süsser,” Agron breathed the grip on Nasir’s hand loosening.

“Agron, ruhi please put the mask back,” Nasir begged now letting his tears flow freely. He reached for the oxygen mask but Agron shook his head. Nasir felt like yelling at him; he felt like ripping that fucking mask away from Agron’s hand and putting it back on by force. He didn’t do it because he knew why Agron was acting like this and Nasir felt like he was free falling without a parachute.

“Kiss me one last time in this life, liebling,” Agron asked as if praying to a god, his green pools looking at him pleadingly.

Nasir felt like all the air had been punched out of him and a heartbreaking sob racked his slender old body. He closed his eyes for second, shallow breaths filling the air and tears like acid burning his skin.

Nasir’s eyes settled upon his soul, his fingers reaching to wipe Agron’s shed tears. He leaned down and kissed parted pink lips softly and then more urgently; Agron’s hand discarding the mask and reaching for his neck to pull him closer. Nasir caressed Agron’ ear and then ran his finger through silky hair. Both were crying, sobs escaping their chests while clinging to each other with each fiber of their being.

“Nasir…I love…” Agron was having trouble breathing and his face paled.

“Shh, Agron calm down, don’t talk,” Nasir urged putting his index finger on his lips. “Call the nurse Duro,” he shouted without gazing away from Agron.

“Let me schatz, I am tired…I…I love…I will…wait,” Agron’s chest heaved one last time as his pale green eyes remained fixed on Nasir’s.

“No, no, no, no Agron! Habibi, ahhh, no, no…hayaati, please don’t leave me…,” Nasir screamed, throwing himself at Agron’s lifeless body. He lost all sense of reality and time; he heard voices and yelling as he felt hands pulling him away. Nasir screamed, yelled and kicked. He didn’t want to be separated from his beloved, not even for one second. It has always been Agron and Nasir; now it was only him and he despised it. Nasir was kicking and screaming and them he wasn’t. He felt the prickle of a needle and then the pitch-black enveloped him. It was better this way, not to feel anything.

Nasir didn’t know for how long he was out for; it may have been minutes, hours or days but it didn’t really mattered because he had no reasons to open his eyes. The light of his life was no more and his world was shadows. He opened his heavy lidded eyes, closing them again against the strong light from the light fixture.

“Baba!” he heard the soft voice of his daughter calling him. He opened his eyes and there she was, next to her brother. Both wearing desolate expressions and eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying; they didn’t get to say their last goodbyes. Nasir’s heart couldn’t hurt more because he no longer had one.

“Where is your father? I need to see him again,” he demanded, sitting up.

Fatima and Amari hurried to his side and flanked him; tender kisses and warm hugs making this nightmare a smidgen bearable. “Vater, is in the same room he… we didn’t let the staff take him before you could see him again baba,” Amari responded, his hand resting gently on his shoulder.

“Thank you, I need to go now,” He tried to smile but he didn’t remember how to do that anymore. Fatima helped him get up and both of his children held him as they walked back to where Agron rested. He saw the familiar faces of his friends, of Duro and Diona but didn’t stop.

Nasir stood at the door of the room where the lifeless body of his beloved rested. He felt lightheaded and his knees buckled; Amari and Fatima holding him up.

He walked to the bed and took his time to look at the beloved form from head to toe. The furnace like body was no more. Agron was cold to the touch and Nasir wanted to warm him up.

Nasir got up on the bed and curled up against his man; it felt so right to be here right next to him. Nasir looked at his placid looking face and kissed cold lips; reaching for his husband’s icy hand and entwining them together. He heard sobs and soft cries; turning his face to see his children and family surrounding the bed. Nasir smiled at them, glancing at each loved face.

“I can’t live without him; no one can live without their heart and soul,” he murmured. He heard his name and felt sorry for his precious family, but Agron and Nasir was a pair; one was empty without the other. “I am tired as well and he is waiting for me. I don’t want to make him wait long and I miss him terribly already. I wish all of you happiness. I…we love you all so very much. Thank you for everything,” Nasir whispered bringing himself closer to his love and closing his weary eyes.

Nasir didn’t know for how long he slept, but when he woke up he was young again. He couldn’t believe the reflection on the water and he looked down at his body. It was once again youthful; soft and smooth skin, his gray hair was again the color of a raven. Nasir felt like he hadn’t felt since his thirties. His clothes were also different; he was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, red converse and a black tank top. He remembered wearing these same clothes when he met Agron at the supermarket decades ago. _Gods, where is Agron?_

“Someone hasn’t changed at all,” a familiar well-loved husky voice spoke.

Nasir turned abruptly in the direction of the voice, dark eyes widening at the view. It was his heart, looking the same as he did when they met for the first time. Agron’s wrinkles were gone, as well as the gray in his hair; tan skin smooth again and well-toned muscles stretching over a tall body. A pair of washed out jeans dressing long, strong legs and a firm ass, worn brown boots covering once barefoot feet and a simple black t-shirt. Nasir smiled widely, a gummy smile making his face almost hurt. He ran to Agron, he felt as if he was wearing Hermes’ winged sandals. Agron’ dimpled smile made an appearance and he felt his heart danced in his chest.

“You didn’t take long,” Agron teased, long and strong arms wrapping around his body. Nasir felt warm again and his arms were full of treasure once more. He buried his face in Agron’s broad chest, breathing in his delectable scent and showering it with all the kisses he couldn’t give before. Nasir felt Agron’s laughter before it reached his ears and as he did he embraced him tighter.

“I took long enough; haven’t I always told you that I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything separates us? Only death could do it and not for long,” he affirmed looking into shiny green eyes. Agron was still smiling, _gods I have missed that smile so much_.

“You forgot to kiss me hello schatz,” Agron chided, his countenance betraying him.

Nasir leaned in and reached out, wrapping one hand on Agron’s neck and pulling him closer. A tender edging on desperate kiss making them forget everything else existed. Hungry lips, sharp teeth and wicked tongues playing around for a while; and when they came out for air, laughter filled the open space.

“Are you ready to start again liebling?” Agron asked pulling Nasir with him and starting to walk. The place was dazzling; tall fruit and flower trees lining the paths and fields upon fields of infinite kinds of colorful flowers. Multiple rivers and waterfalls gracing tall mountains; different kinds of birds and butterflies, the sky was cloudless and the sun was shining high on his throne. A warm and comfortable breeze filled the air, making Nasir close his eyes for a moment.

Nasir looked at Agron thoughtfully and them around him. He took a deep breath and let it out, “Lets first enjoy the peace the Elysian Fields provide us and then we can do whatever you want, ruhi.”

“As you wish Süsser, I will follow you wherever your feet take you.”

“Forever together; forever by your side hayaati, in all the lives we get to live.”

“I will always find you.”

“You won’t have to because I have always been running towards you,” Nasir whispered smiling at his light, walking together side by side; two inseparable beings meant to be one since the beginning of their journey.

 


End file.
